In our last post about loss, we focused on survivors who lost a loved one due to suicide. If you haven’t checked it out yet, please do so here.
Grief and loss are inevitable parts of human life and can be difficult to face alone. It is a complex process that can leave us feeling overwhelmed and isolated. These emotions can be caused by the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, failing an exam, or any other significant event that results in the loss of something or someone important.
Losing a loved one brings out feelings and emotions within us that we may not know are there. The process is different for everyone, but there are some universal emotions that most people experience during these times. Such emotions include but are not limited to:
- Sadness
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Guilt
- Fatigue
- Shock
- Numbness
- Relief
These emotions–both conscious and unconscious– remind us of our humanity and frailty. Humanity because we are able to come together and revere the loss of a loved one; frailty because life has escaped us, and we experience Pandora’s box surrounding death. The good news is that there are ways to cope with grief and loss. In this post, we will discuss the grieving process and provide tips on coping with grief and loss.
Understanding the stages of grief can provide insight into what to expect.
Stages of Grief
The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Grief expert and psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross first identified the five stages of grief in her groundbreaking book, “On Death and Dying,” published in 1969.
More recently, David Kessler, a co-author of other works with Kubler-Ross, discussed the possibility of a sixth stage, the stage of “meaning.”
These stages are not necessarily experienced in order or all at once. Rather, they are a way to help us process our feelings and come to terms with our loss. Each stage offers its own challenges and opportunities for growth as we work toward acceptance.
Palliative Care has been instrumental in our healthcare system to help us welcome and embrace the end of one’s life; it creates space for peace and dignity. The more aware we are of the grieving process, the better we are able to cope with it. It is possible to recover from and come out on the other side feeling stronger than before, no matter how long it takes.
To guide you in the process, here are three ways to cope with grief and loss:
Seek support from family and friends
It’s okay not to be okay. Reaching out to friends and family for support as you process your feelings about your loss is an essential part of the healing journey. Our support system provides a safe place to remove your cape and efficiently grieve your loved one. True vulnerability shows up and allows one to receive essential help. Whether it’s someone to talk to, cherish memories with, buy groceries, or sit in silence, having someone you have access to can ensure that we are grieving wholly.
Self-Care Activities for Grief and Loss
Doing activities that bring joy can remind us that we are still alive. Yes, a loved one has passed, but their legacy lives on within us. Self-care activities rejuvenate our souls and spirit. If certain activities bring more sorrow than happiness, it’s okay. Perhaps it may not be time. Find an activity that makes you smile or laugh and hold on to it. “What’s your Grief” provides a practical list of self-care ideas.
Professional Help
Therapy is not to be overlooked in our grieving process. The safe space to just be and sit in each phase of the grieving process ensures that you are doing the work. Therapy and counseling allow for the deep work of feelings, thoughts, and actions. Websites such as PsychologyToday and BetterHelp can help find therapists or counselors in your local area. Tips on selecting a good therapist can be found through the American Psychological Association.
Grieving properly allows for growth when the world seems to stop, peace during chaos, and hope in tribulation.
It is our hope and prayer that you still believe you are blessed even in this time of grief.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted – MATTHEW 5:4
